


worth it

by cryingkogane



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Memory Loss, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Recovery, bucky just being confused but also in love, me too bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:00:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24909583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryingkogane/pseuds/cryingkogane
Summary: Bucky reflects on Steve's presence during his recovery.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27





	worth it

**Author's Note:**

> this is super short but its currently 5:44 am and i am about to pass out! i hope u all like it <3

Bucky used to be loud.

He used to be a booming voice and a hearty laugh, used to be a body moving. Then he fell. 

Now Bucky was quiet.

He was quick and silent, wide-eyed and nervy. Bucky didn't hum his favorite songs anymore, he didn't smile and flirt with the pretty girls he met. He snuck around and kept to himself, not minding the loneliness. It didn't bother him like it should. After all this time, he was just--he was just _tired_. He wanted to rest. He felt old and weary; he should be 6 feet under now. Bucky got a second chance that he didn't even ask for.

Bucky was quiet, but Steve Rogers was able to get some noise out of him. A laugh, a word or two. It was more than he was willing to give to anyone else. And worst of all--Steve made Bucky feel young again. Steve, big and strong, gave Bucky memories of a life he once lived, with someone small and fragile. But _not_ weak.

Steve made Bucky think about dancing to records in the living room, a white cat winding around their ankles. He made him think about cold hands covered in paint, and newspapers in shoes. Bucky thought about a cough, a wheeze, a rattle. He couldn't figure that one out yet.

It was hard to remember. Bucky was reading a chapter of his own book as if he didn't write it. But he tried hard, tried so that he didn't have to see Steve turn away to hide tears, or hear a crack in his voice when he said _I'm sorry, I don't remember._

Most days Bucky felt like giving up. Felt like shoving himself back in that freezer again--or worse. But it was worth it to see the sunshine-bright grin split Steve's face wide open when he called him Stevie, or when he got caught humming an old song. It was well worth it to let Steve wrap him up in a hug and hold him tight; he told himself it was for Steve's feelings, but he knew that he was only safe in his arms. 

It was worth climbing into bed with Steve on cold nights and tangling their legs, or pressing their lips together. Bucky especially knew it was worth it when he said _I love you_ for the first time. When he saw Steve shed happy tears. _It's a good cry, Buck._ He had said. 

Bucky's eyes might've watered a bit, too. He was confused--caught between the past and the future. But after all this time, Steve felt like home. And that's all he needed.


End file.
